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"Damn bitch." Today had been approximately the worst day of hislife, at least as far back as he could remember. He fumbled for his room key, wondering for one brief sick moment ifhe'd managed to lose that, along with everything else that had happened.But no, he found it in his pocket after managing to stab himself under afingernail with the hypodermic tip of a mechanical pencil. "Goddammph!"he informed the universe as he stuck the injured digit in his mouth.I'll probably get tetanus and die, he figured darkly. When he got in front of his door, he sighed, pulled his finger outof his mouth, and inserted the key in the lock. It stuck. Again. "Oh, how fucking predictable," he cursed, and shook the keyviolently until it turned. "Shit." He opened the door, taking a tiny bit of vengeful pleasure atbouncing it noisily off the wall, and taking a bit more in slamming itafterwards. His roommate Paul was standing in the middle of the room,looking panicked. Good, he. " So!" Tony asked"With Aunt Ada's help, I got the local vicar to stand in at the last moment." Tony realising the implication of Ron's remark sank into the nearest chair, his head in his hands, suddenly he realised that he felt quite pleased, but he wondered how Rota would react."What's the matter?" Ron asked."I dare not tell you." Tony replied, as all the implications began to sink in. A few minutes later Tony cornered Rota."Problems darling. Well sort of." What dearest." Rota replied as she wrapped her arms round him."We are really legally married. That Vicar was real, not the actor we had arranged. Dear Uncle Ron, and Great Aunt Ada, arranged the local Vicar, when the actor allegedly went ill."Rota smiled coyly up at him. "I don't mind - anyway, if you don't, it means our baby will have a real daddy."Tony smiled broadly down at her. He was deliriously happy, as he realised that she did not really mind either. Marriage to Rota would not be dull, and he did love her very much.
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